Relationships should be based on commitment, sound communication, romance, intimacy and honesty.
It should come from the depth of your heart to love unconditionally, communicate even when the sparks are off and fight when you feel threatened to show how much you value your partner.
Sadly, love is mostly one sided, more like your partner is not putting the same level of energy as you, this can be really painful.
According to research, scientists made us understand that an heart break is equivalent to physical pain.
The way you cringe and groan to a sore affecting any part of your body is the exact way an heart break hits you, sending different jolts into your body.
To be honest with you i know how that feels, not getting enough sleep at night because you are suspecting your partner is cheating or getting stood up for hours when you know deeply he or she is avoiding you.
Getting pregnant and not knowing how to tell him because he never talks about the future with you, watching her entertain male advances because you know she can never be faithful to you.
My main aim at this article is to make you understand that you do not have to be cheated on repeatedly before you know they can not love you the way you love them, you do not have to be taken for granted before you understand that true love is not TOXIC.
I would be writing about 7 reasons why you should doubt your partner.
You need to understand what your relationship is all about with that person, what it is based on, know the temperament of him or her to decide if it accompanies your own to know if they are worth fighting for or leaving and you need to know all these early.
Why is that? you may ask me, you need to know early before you get so attached that you get hurt constantly but you can not leave because love has blinded your sight and intuition.
Love can make you do irrational things to yourself, you know.
Sacrifices in relationship is the sweetest, it is beyond the intimacy and romance, it is the real deal, but let me ask you this question, Is your partner willing to sacrifice as much as you? If you do not know or you are trying to build a facade to cover the pangs affecting your relationship, then this article is for you.
7 REASONS WHY YOU SHOULD DOUBT YOUR PARTNER.
1. LOW COMMUNICATION SKILLS:-
A lot of people are introverts, which means they hardly talk or express themselves but the sweet side about them? they are really romantic, especially when they love you.
If they do not talk, check for their actions.
Actions speaks louder than voice.
When you are with them do they hold your hands and just smile uncontrollably or do they just look at you till you start a conversation and just nod their head, press their phones and look for excuses to make the conversation short so they can be excused?.
If he is an extrovert, does he dodge conversations and all he wants to do is kiss you and make love?.
if that is the case, you have to be careful because he is obviously using you.
People that are expressive will tell you their mind through their words and actions too, but the main thing there is for you to know what you mean to them.
A real relationship should be expressive, i mean i should know your triggers and what turns you on everything you are scared of.
Mostly, when people dodge conversations, it is because they do not want to lie, especially when they are keeping secrets, do not let anybody tell you lies like "i am sorry i was protecting you that was why i did not want to tell you about it".
I mean we share intimate things, i tell you almost everything so why would you keep something away from me? make sure the relationship you are dying for is worth it.
2. WHEN THEY DO NOT INCLUDE YOU IN FUTURE PLANS:-
Does she see herself as the mother of your unborn kids? does she talk about it? does he include you in every of his plans? like 'Baby, if you get your leave, i could get mine too so we would go see your parents'.
Do they cut corners around their jobs or even reject job offers that would make them very far from you? you need to know all these, if they love you they would involve you in their plans, the duration of the time you have spent with them does not matter, what matters most is their intention towards you.
After you are done with this article, i want you to have a one on one conversation with him or her, do not be scared or shy to ask, do not let anyone waste your time.
It is better you know now so you know where you stand exactly in that relationship.
Funny enough, so many people see themselves as friends with benefits, MOSTLY because they never had intimate conversations.
3. THEY REACH OUT TO YOU ONLY WHEN IT IS BENEFICIAL:-
Most people are in relationships for numerous reasons. It could be for financial purposes, for intimacy, what have you?.
Sadly, it is very possible the person you are seeing now will leave you if you have nothing to offer them.
Of course, you should be with an independent and straight forward person but then why do you think you are their better half? it is because you have to compliment them.
So stop basing your relationship on perfection it will not last.
When someone says they love you, they should be willing to give as much as they collect from you, you are no one's slave, do not be manipulated and invest in someone that would never give you a dime.
Base your relationship on mutuality, even if you know they do not have still test them to see if they would give u back the energy you are willing to give them.
4. WHEN THEY ARE TOO BUSY FOR YOU:-
Everyone should have schedules, free time, busy time.
That is very normal and you should not be too clingy or misunderstand everything.
But do you know that everyone has a priority list in their head and if you are not included in that list then you are not so important to them.
Because it doesn't cost a thing for them to set aside two minutes to text you or call you if they are really busy.
Anything that makes them give you couples of lame excuses stating how they are so busy means they do not think of you at all, they do not think you are worth their time and they would rather do anything than talk to you or be with you.
This is a red flag, you have to doubt starting from here because if you are not getting their attention, time and care, someone is.
5. WHEN YOU FEEL LONELY IN THE RELATIONSHIP:-
You can feel unhappy, worried, bothered in your relationship it is very normal because no relationship is perfect.
But if you feel lonely every time you are with them shows a lot of signs.
You are not getting the love you deserve or your partner does not care how you feel, then that is also a red flag.
The presence of your lover should give you joy, security, love and peace of mind.
If you feel none of all i just listed, there are high chances that you are dating yourself.
Believe it or not, nothing can change that feeling when they are with you, except their absence.
So i would advice you to leave such toxic relationship as fast as you can before you lose yourself.
6. WHEN THEY HAVE NEVER INTRODUCED YOU TO ANYBODY:-
Funny enough, love has a way of capturing peoples heart.
When someone is in love all they talk about and sing is the praises of their lover.
The need to show them to the world, take them to different beautiful places, introduce them to their family and friends, the whole world at large.
But when a person is hesitant to introduce you to their friends, post about you on social media, tell the whole world about you then that person is hiding something, being protective or you are not that important to the person.
So when they hide you, make you too private, put you away from the front line in that relationship, doubt it and talk about it.
I mean for how long do you want to remain incognito?.
How long do you want to hide behind closed doors?.
How long do you want to pretend that you are not hurt at the level of his discretion with you?
How long do you want to keep mute when he answers phone calls in front of you so no one hears your voice over the phone.
You are beautiful, smart, too intelligent and attractive to be regarded with such disrespect and disregard, make yourself visible in your relationship.
7. WHEN THEY MANIPULATE YOU OFTEN:-
I feel manipulation is a weak persons tool.
Why not go straight in?, find the truth and work around it.
Instead of manipulating someone into doing your bid, is that not shallow? are you too afraid of the truth?
Manipulative people make you feel guilty of their short comings, they are never sorry or apologetic for their deeds, they would do annoying things and blame you for reacting because according to them you are supposed to care despite the way they treat you.
That is where some people apologize for the wrong of their partner because they can not stand their ground and they are addicted to toxicity.
All in all, choose happiness over everything weighing you down, choose peace of mind over doubting every second, choose love over tears and sadness.
Choose yourself over TOXICITY.
I HOPE I HAVE HELPED YOU IN A WAY.
Try to do the right thing today, know that the
right thing will lead to your happiness.
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I love you all.