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I must admit, finding a partner or accepting a proposal can be tiring and frustrating at times.

You find various people with personalities that do not match up to what you are looking for, while some are actually a little alike with you but there is just something about them that puts you off.

At a point, I got tired of being in a relationship because it did not bring up good memories, there was always distance, temperament issues, trust issues, conversations that shouldn't be taken lightly. No communication, no intimacy.

Sometimes, I wonder how some people are and how they think because when u start dating, let's say at the appropriate age that you can distinguish from  left to right, you will meet different people and have to choose the one that suites your heart.

That is not the issue at all, there would be men or women wanting to be in relationships with you, that is very easy, the problem there is sadly, everyone has a motive for doing one thing or the other.

If I wear a pink socks today, there has to be a reason why I wore it.

That is the same way some people see relationships. Some go into it because they are insecure and they just need someone so they will not feel totally useless about themselves.

While many go into it for financial purposes, money, money, money, so many men or women will say yes to you or throw themselves at you if they find you financially stable.

Most do not want to know how you get this money, they just want to be in that relationship demanding and demanding.

Some also are there for romance, intimacy, lust, these people might not be interested if you have money or not, they just want to be satisfied and it could go from them not getting enough from you to a friend of yours willing to give them or an ex you know about that keeps coming into their lives.

The category I want to talk about now are the violent ones, they are easily jealous, they feel threatened by the sight of another person just being around you, they do not take "no" for an answer, everything in that relationship depends on only them, not you the partner, they are selfish emotionally, when they hit you it comes with silly excuses about them, or how they were brought up or how they were subjected to bad relationships so you have to pay for everything an ex has done to them.

The world is hard already, now imagine being with a toxic person for years and when you're fed up, you just break up and stay that way, lonely and bitter.

Most definitely, after a toxic relationship, it is advised that you do not have rebounds or date anyone again for the time being, "IT IS NOT FOREVER". 

Nobody is meant to be alone forever, we forget a lot that "it is the little things that matter".

Because the big things are obvious even a stranger can give you money.

But not all strangers can stay with you, wake up to see your grumpy face and still kiss your forehead, send you multiple text messages just to make you smile.

Let us remove the romantic part and talk about the real things, not all of them can cuddle you to sleep on a bad night after work or after a shock you are so afraid of.

Not all will be at home with you when you need to fix something at home.

Having the right partner entails all these little things.

Before you are back from work, she is at home preparing your food so you will not starve, you do not have to go to the restaurant everyday.

People get tired of these little things but their experiences makes them locked on wanting to always be alone.

One or two bad experiences is not a valid reason why you should subject yourself to loneliness forever.

I do not know who is reading this article but you need a man in your life, stop giving yourself excuses.

You need a woman in your life stop sleeping around just to cover up for your lust, you will still get tired.

Is there anything in this world you will not still get tired of?

You need real people, everyone has a story, if you feel you have seen fire, when you hear another person's story, you will see that yours is little compared to theirs but this person keeps trying and trying.

No one wants to die lonely.

In all those categories there are real men and women in between that would care for you, provide for you, emotionally, financially, physically. In all ramifications.

The question is what exactly do you want?, what do you expect?, what are you looking out for?

You need to sit, get a pen and jot down the answers look out to your suitors or the one you would love to date and see who matches that description.

Now I want you to understand this is a serious issue and you shouldn't take it for granted.

Everyone had gone out in my house that day except I and my mother, so she wanted to zip her clothes up but she couldn't do it by herself, not knowing I was at the backyard doing other stuffs, she called for me inside but i did not hear my name, then she came out and called once more, I heard, ran to her and noticed her zip was down, I helped her and she said, "Temi, if you were not home I wouldn't have gone out because of this zip, it is the little things that matters, I wish your father was home".

And that last statement got to me real deep, there are things you cannot do alone, decisions you cannot make alone, experiences you cannot give yourself.

Let love lead, give yourself a chance to be happy again.


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