Disagreements are bound to happen in every relationship.
Even siblings disagree, it is very normal, because at a point, differences and objectives will set in.
Most times the argument could be about irrelevant things. You could prefer eating out and she prefers cooking.
Issues concerning where to eat would be the normal order in that relationship.
It could be on how money is spent thriftily or excessively due to the income coming in.
It could also be about religion, basically it could be about anything.
There are a few things you can do to reduce disagreements and help work out your differences.
I will only be talking ABOUT 7 and hopefully if you adapt to them it would help.
A relationship that is constantly in conflict definitely can never afford growth opportunities.
This could be clearly seen as an obvious lack of compatibility.
Having a partner that picks a quarrel with almost everything you do, or never sees things your way, or is always compromising his or her viewpoint is not someone you should think of the future with.
Do not spend the rest of your life resolving conflicts, even though they are a natural phenomenon. It should not occur at intervals or every minute of the day.
When they do come, they should be seen as opportunities to solve one more difference or more problems to come.
This can only happen, if you both are ready to make a compromise and accept a middle course peacefully on issues where you hold different opinions.
7 HELPFUL HINTS ON AVOIDING DISAGREEMENT WITH YOUR PARTNER
1. AIM AT RESOLVING NOT WINNING:-
You should not see your partner as a competition or as a separate person.
If you understand this, there won't be competitive arguments in the future.
Moreover if you win an argument to your partner who do you tell the tales of your victory to?.
You do not deserve an applause for that.
Do not concentrate on winning as this would not solve anything rather than add more fuel into the heat of the argument.
2. NEVER REFER INTO THE PAST:-
It is only an archeologist that lives by digging up the past.
It will only trigger the conflict.
Everyone has an aspect of their past, undesirable account that they never want to remember.
If that person could trust you enough to share it with you, it SHOULD not be a topic for the next conflict.
Some people like hiding behind the past because they were also a victim, that would not solve anything.
Let the dead remain dead and buried.
Stop referring to past incidents or mistakes.
If you can not leave the past alone, you might not live happily and peacefully with your partner again.
3. MAKE TIME TO TALK:-
Leaving issues unresolved could lead to a bigger conflict.
Communicate and reach a resolution.
Try to see what is bugging or bothering your partner, don't be a stranger to him or her.
Stuffing things inside and not talking about them can be very dangerous.
Do not be too busy to talk to this person now because sooner you would not have anyone to share anything with when the person gets frustrated and leaves.
Do not dodge important talks, communicate, talk to your spouse, talk to your partner.
4. AVOID ASSUMPTIONS:-
Assumptions are known to kill good relationships.
When doubt begins to set in, try to give them the benefit of the doubt and allow the situation to be clearer.
Be patient, let him or her shed more light on the issue, do not be in a haste to conclude and misinterpret.
Better still, ask in a loving manner, learn to say "I love you", but only when you mean it.
Learn to say "i am sorry" and mean it, it will make someone's life easier.
5. NEVER TAKE ADVANTAGE OF YOUR PARTNER'S VULNERABILITY:-
You should never take anyone for granted, for being open to you or being vulnerable.
As the relationship progresses, they start getting comfortable around you and they tell you secrets, open up every part of their life to you.
That is because they love you and see a part of you in them, this should not be a field to trample on at all.
If you try to use the upper hand or come from a selfish point of view because you know your partner is soft, you are courting disaster.
Never manipulate your partner. Conflicts can happen but do not take ADVANTAGE.
6. PROCESS YOUR ANGER:-
Do you know that when you are very angry the difference between you and a mad man is not of a kind but to a certain degree.
It is shocking but it is true.
There are ways to handle anger, you could try to suppress your anger, instead of letting it out or you could burst out in a frenzy but I would advice you to control it because that will be only what will maintain peace.
You must learn how to process your anger.
Processing your anger entails at first acknowledging the fact that you are upset.
Then take your time to simmer down by taking your mind away from what got you angry in the first place.
Seek information on the issue then approach your partner and talk in a mature and civilized manner.
In other words, Refine your anger to maintain peace.
You must learn to forgive always, have a forgiving heart.
It does not mean you are weak because being stuck up and holding grudges will not save anything rather than aggravate the issue.
As long as you keep focusing on the offense, you might never see anything good in your partner again.
Offenses will always be there but how we react to them is all that matters.
When we let go of anger and forgive, it means, becoming free of a burden.
Some of us find it hard to say these three words "I am sorry", to someone we have hurt.
Some of us find it easy to say "I forgive you" but it is often muttered through clenched teeth and eyes or with a tone that passes a different message.
Remember to forgive is to forget.
So many couples find it hard to cope with their differences and I hope what I've mentioned helps you maintain a healthy and refined relationship.
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